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Kerry Jackson's picture
Joined: 09/08/2007
Posts: 96
Incident at the Post Office

First, a word of caution. If you are sensitive to graphic description in written dialogue, then please read no further.

All characters appearing in this story is fictitious. Any resemblance to any real insects, living or dead, is purely coincidental.  And any other questionably arguable “blah-blah-blah!"….applies here too.

It’s April first, so here’s a story….


I can’t believe what just happened today, I mean, it all just happened so fast!  

Finishing up a sale, I was feeling pretty good about sharing a few laughs with one of my many favorite customers, and as I was walking away from my front sales counter, my swaying wrist innocently bumped a passing fly and just sent it off spinning out of control.  Obviously disoriented, it spun towards my desk, then it bounced off my tape dispenser, and then crashed towards the front end of my gray stapler. The impact rattled my cup of pencils. Hitting head first, it sprayed in a colorful florescent splatter, and there was blood just everywhere!

Oh my God! What have I done?  With the careless flailing of my hand, I just took the life of an unsuspecting passer-by.  It only mildly grazed my wrist, but then again, the crash was so sudden!  So unexpected!

My carefree negligence has gotten me all overwrought with much heartfelt guilt!  I mean, just like all of God’s creatures, that fly has family, and in just a moments instance, I just went and punched a big hole in their little world!

Now, I know, at least I hope, that any fair prosecutor would see that it was all just an inconvenient, horrific, accident, but I’m always going to feel like I’ve just committed an unintended murder.  I don’t even want to see it’s mother.  To be able to look into her hundreds of eyes, I can only imagine the pain of knowing her sudden loss. I am filled with painful remorse myself.  I’m sick to my stomach, watching her grieve, as she is standing in the shadows to the left of my stapler, morbidly staring, and at a loss for words, at the still smoldering reminisce of the crash site of her child.  That fly was so young.  It had many hours of its innocent life yet to live, and then, suddenly taken away by my unforgivable carelessness.  How can I continue to go on living comfortably after knowing that I’ve just destroyed a whole single day’s existence of a small insect family?

Of course, the investigation crew took pictures of the accident scene. They took blood samples from my stapler and my tape dispenser, too. Some blood got on my scissors as well, and some near-by rubber bands and paper clips.  It was a big mess. They just want to see if they can determine if the fly hit me, or if I hit the fly.  My wrist doesn’t reflect any scraps or dents, but then again, I’m no expert at investigating a scene of an accident.  I wouldn’t know what clues they would be looking for.  

Questions were raised too. What was this fly doing out past curfew? What interest did it have hovering around a clerk’s desk area? Did it have any gang affiliations? Have other flies been known to frequent the area?  Was there a “fly on the wall” as a witness, that may have fled the scene in fear, when this all went down?

A witness account could help in the investigation. As fingers are obviously pointing at me, I’ll need a tangible witness to come forward in support of my defense.

As the hour went by,  passing rubber-neckers dropped to a minimal, and other innocent by-standers started to randomly disperse and just crawled off or just flew away to get on with their own lives. By now, they‘ve seen all that there was to see. Some photos were taken by other curious blood-thirsty insects just passing by, but by the time the news media showed up, the meat wagon had already collected the corpse and has long since left the scene of the accident.

Well, as things were beginning to wrap up, and as the forensic experts were leaving the scene, I took a tissue and wiped up the rest of the blue and green goo that the inspector’s left behind.  The crime-scene tape was no longer necessary either, so I took it all down too.  All the damning evidence has been collected and will be used at my trial.  A beetle, a praying mantis, and two ants wearing leather vests were beginning to erect a shrine next to my stapler. Oh great! That's all I need. Now, I’m gonna have to look at that all day!

I hope the trial will be fair.  I don’t know what level of compensation I can provide for the fly’s family.  

Listen to me! I’m babbling as if I’m already guilty!  I’m gonna hang myself at this trial, I know it! I’m so nervous that I think I soiled myself!

During my day in court, I want to be as co-operative as I can.  My trial is set for Thursday.  Bail has been set at five dollars.

Heck, I should have never gone to work today.

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